My birthday was on Saturday and once again to defy all of the odds D helped me to have a wonderful birthday. I will never stop thanking god that I have ended up with such a wonderful man. It’s just a blessing that I have everything that I do right now.
I am getting really excited, and a little nervous, about the baby coming in what seems like no time at all. I am 20 weeks today. The little pregnancy week by week tracker I use has this to say about 20 weeks: “your baby’s crown-to-rump length is 5.6 to 6.4 inches. The fetus weighs about 9 ounces and your belly definitely has an obvious bulge. Your waistline has expanded and is no longer visible. Your uterus has now moved up enough that it is pushing your abdomen outwards. The top of your uterus is even with or just below your navel.”
For the first time I really feel like I’m pregnant, I also feel like that is all I talk about to anyone and I kind of feel like the wedding is been foreshadowed by the pregnancy. I mean I think this is exactly how it all was supposed to turn out but I feel like the focus may not be on us and the celebration of our love that it should be and like it will be about my large baby bump.
As for me and my relationship with Xander, I talk to him frequently (he can hear everything around him) but I don’t feel like a bond. I am thinking it will just take time, with my dog even it took a few weeks for me to really bond with him. I remember how scared I was the first week I brought him home. D was in St. Thomas and I was watching his dogs and had this new little puppy who didn’t want to sleep and needed to be taken out every hour and who barked all the time. I was totally overwhelmed, I took him to my mom and dad’s house and gave him to my mom and just took a nap on the couch. But when I woke up there he was sleeping next to me on the couch. My mom said to me that the moment I dozed off he just wanted to be right there next to me and he was so cute!
I am sure everything will be ok!