Fat and Normal

So I just don’t know what is up with me the last couple of days but since Saturday I have been off plan.  I just can’t seem to get with it.  It another self destructive cycle where I am doing really well loosing weight and getting where I need to go then I just feel like I can’t stop myself.  I keep thinking I don’t want that fast food or pastry from the coffee shop and I’m not even supposed to be eating their until after lent anyway but I did and I am and I stepped on the scale this morning after being 165-166 all of last week to see 168.2.  Holy cow.

So today I got my food journal out and so far it’s been hard to not have a little something here and there that is off plan but I am going to push through and eat on plan.  I have to loose this weight, I hate being this heavy and I want to be thin and healthy.  Even a little thin would be nice.  I have a ton of clothes that should fit me within 10 or so pounds lost but what do I do.  Jump off the wagon and go to bad food land.

I mean I am just so mad at myself right now.  I did nothing all of February after having a great January and I don’t want it to take 6 months to loose 10lbs like it did last year.

Anyway that is my rambling.  I am going to stick to it today and hopefully stick to it tomorrow too.